she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
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So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
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A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.