I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown