Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!