P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?