The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder