There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me