Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.