It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sorry I peed on your ottoman