I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN