All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.