Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Virginia (540)

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  She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.

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  (540): She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic. http://tfl.nu/cwdw
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  My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?

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  (540): My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project? http://tfl.nu/mcoi
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  I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.

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  (540): I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them. http://tfl.nu/t9kz
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  You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out

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  (540): You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out http://tfl.nu/n0iw
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  i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing

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  (540): i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing http://tfl.nu/o77s
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  The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.

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  So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...

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  (540): The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress. (703): So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then... http://tfl.nu/ildr
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  Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.

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  (540): Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman. http://tfl.nu/z7nz
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  i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.

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  (540): i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective. http://tfl.nu/c9ng
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  Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.

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  (540): Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps. http://tfl.nu/aqjz
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  I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards

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  (540): I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards http://tfl.nu/0mpw
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  i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.

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  (540): i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month. http://tfl.nu/gnax
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  My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.

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  (540): My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things. http://tfl.nu/x5j7
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  What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?

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  (540): What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless? http://tfl.nu/wpih
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  Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.

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  (540): Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza. http://tfl.nu/9mae
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  we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.

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  (540): we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate. http://tfl.nu/t1ac
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