Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship