I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Everclear isn't food dammit
is that a dick in a sweater?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.