What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
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I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.