You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today