Everclear isn't food dammit
is that a dick in a sweater?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
7 Great Movies – with Drinking Games that Make them Even Better
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
15 Things You’ll Miss About College – and 7 Things You Definitely Won’t
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
There is a Children’s Book About Donald Trump’s Hair, and it’s as Weird as You’d Expect It to Be