HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Everclear isn't food dammit
is that a dick in a sweater?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?