I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?