wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family