I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.