My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
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My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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