I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.