An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.