he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea