he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
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I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
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Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea