DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.