Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.