gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
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drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
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I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
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