Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (423)

Last Night in Tennessee (423)

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You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.

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strike, motherfucker.

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(423): You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em. (423): strike, motherfucker. http://tfl.nu/ain2

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Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle

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(423): Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle http://tfl.nu/m7ud

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Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.

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(423): Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone. http://tfl.nu/b7in

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I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple

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(423): I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple http://tfl.nu/2rws

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What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.

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Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.

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(423): What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there. (1-423): Call it what you want. You fucked a girl. http://tfl.nu/1fty

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I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.

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(423): I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats. http://tfl.nu/9par

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Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.

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(423): Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows. http://tfl.nu/mbnt

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I will cut you

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Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me

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Put that in perspective

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(423): I will cut you (1-423): Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me (423): Put that in perspective http://tfl.nu/op5b

Replies (10) Good night (1608) Bad night (446)
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My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final

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(423): My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final http://tfl.nu/c4wx

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Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility

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(423): Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility http://tfl.nu/hzzw

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The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...

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(423): The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while... http://tfl.nu/ie7g

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Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.

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(423): Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/4jzk

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If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom

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(423): If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom http://tfl.nu/66s8

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He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.

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(423): He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis. http://tfl.nu/f7rk

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Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.

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(423): Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you. http://tfl.nu/zkpt

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Last Night in Tennessee (423)

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