She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.