I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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