Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
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I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...