pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
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Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?