Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"