Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.