I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.