if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.