they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
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Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
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Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.