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I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
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