Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (281)

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  (281): View more from Texas

  I think about you every night.

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  I'm sorry.

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  (281): I think about you every night. (1-281): I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/c1b1
  Replies (14) Good night (417) Bad night (1963) Order T-Shirt
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  It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.

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  (281): It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly. http://tfl.nu/y0mx
  Replies (3) Good night (810) Bad night (1775) Order T-Shirt
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  i cant believe jose lima did steroids

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  apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball

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  (713): i cant believe jose lima did steroids (281): apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball http://tfl.nu/yhdf
  Replies (13) Good night (1158) Bad night (1713)
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  I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.

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  (281): I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas. http://tfl.nu/8z68
  Replies (9) Good night (2723) Bad night (1702) Order T-Shirt
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  stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown

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  Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps

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  (210): stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown (281): Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps http://tfl.nu/xa4c
  Replies (22) Good night (646) Bad night (1554)
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  i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.

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  (281): i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend. http://tfl.nu/4vq3
  Replies (6) Good night (671) Bad night (1494) Order T-Shirt
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  How do you jack off and text at the same time?

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  On my iPhone they have an app for that

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  (281): How do you jack off and text at the same time? (1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that http://tfl.nu/2tk7
  Replies (84) Good night (30535) Bad night (1481) Order T-Shirt
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  I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.

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  I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.

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  (281): I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me. (979): I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys. http://tfl.nu/btxr
  Replies (23) Good night (5109) Bad night (1433)
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  I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.

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  (281): I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car. http://tfl.nu/4osg
  Replies (8) Good night (359) Bad night (1381) Order T-Shirt
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  Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.

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  (281): Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night. http://tfl.nu/k3ni
  Replies (5) Good night (701) Bad night (1379) Order T-Shirt
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  They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.

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  (281): They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born. http://tfl.nu/is60
  Replies (7) Good night (373) Bad night (1368) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.

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  (281): You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop. http://tfl.nu/puvx
  Replies (4) Good night (647) Bad night (1365) Order T-Shirt
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  I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.

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  (281): I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard. http://tfl.nu/jw0e
  Replies (5) Good night (2094) Bad night (1338) Order T-Shirt
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  The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.

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  (281): The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked. http://tfl.nu/awm7
  Replies (11) Good night (3099) Bad night (1326) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"

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  (281): So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head" http://tfl.nu/fk9k
  Replies (34) Good night (5788) Bad night (1264)