Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
You can't just leave with hair like that
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Follow @tfln