This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"