but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.