Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.