You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.