what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?