all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....