Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!