you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.