she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.