we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Sober January is a disaster.