Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking