you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.