On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...