Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
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Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister