drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is that why you're texting me
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
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yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole