she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona