i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
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once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
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I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one