Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one