There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
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Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.