what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
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DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
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I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.