successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.