I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12