Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!