New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day