So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
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He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
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My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.