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Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
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