I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
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my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
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PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
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