Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (310)

Last Night in California (310)

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(310): View more from California

u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.

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(310): u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened. http://tfl.nu/5zha

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I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.

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(310): I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE. http://tfl.nu/dkfu

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I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape

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wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?

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why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES

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(818): I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape (310): wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape? (818): why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES http://tfl.nu/d72u

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Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)

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(310): Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :) http://tfl.nu/0k31

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So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best

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and??

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Cake is only good when you eat it

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(559): So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best (310): and?? (559): Cake is only good when you eat it http://tfl.nu/ifoq

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I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..

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(310): I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas.. http://tfl.nu/m0nn

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This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.

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(310): This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/e7vz

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Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta

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(310): Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta http://tfl.nu/zeqg

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Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.

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(310): Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1. http://tfl.nu/ep6p

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Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.

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(310): Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker. http://tfl.nu/ijgw

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Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."

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(310): Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz." http://tfl.nu/9mw5

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Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb

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it's ELEVEN

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thirty

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(310): Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb (209): it's ELEVEN (310): thirty http://tfl.nu/ukrj

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you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.

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(310): you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday. http://tfl.nu/y9g2

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i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."

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(310): i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week." http://tfl.nu/whj8

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Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..

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(310): Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand.. http://tfl.nu/3e9c

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Last Night in California (310)

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