Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
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He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high