We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
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sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.