sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety