My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.